How likely do you think it is that Juan Blasco really said this?
Juan Blasco commented upon her appointment: “The electronification of the market and increased transparency provide additional opportunities for our industry, enabling us to drive best execution and consistent pricing for clients. Beavan’s considerable experience working in electronic trading will help us optimize our client delivery model and I am delighted to welcome her to our team.” Lloyds Bank appoints head of E-commerce credit
I’d be willing to be that it was someone on the Lloyds Bank PR staff who put those words in his mouth.
When writing a press release, make the quotes sound real!
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It is OK to draft a quote for your senior executives to “say” in your news releases, but it has to sound like it could have been real. I suppose it is possible that Mr. Blasco really talks that way (perhaps he had a long career in the civil service first?), but it is unlikely. So it makes it super-obvious that this is just PR-talk.
When writing anything (especially for the Web), use simple words!
Consider how much more effective this would have been had he been quoted as saying
“As markets become more open and digital there are new opportunities for our industry; we can now offer better service and prices for our clients. Beavan’s long experience in electronic trading will help us fine-tune our customer service. I’m delighted to welcome her to our team.”